So tomorrow I’m going to be missing my 8am Chinese class, partly because I know I won’t sleep tonight and partly because I feel weird emotionally, just… neither here nor there. So I’m just going to do some chill study at home tomorrow, and clear up the house a bit.
I’m feeling guilty about missing class because it’s the first class I’ve missed since I went to talk to my teacher about my sleeping problems. I know she will be fine about tomorrow but, you know. I just don’t want it to become habit. I don’t think it will. Anyway, tomorrow we’re just going over listening activities. I’m not missing any major grammar lessons or anything.
I think lately I’ve been feeling ‘neither here nor there’ quite a bit. I’m not feeling overly stressed about uni; I’m feeling on top of it. I’m not feeling overly stressed about friends and family, I’ve gotten them to leave me alone for the most part, this semester. Using the excuse that this is my final semester so it’s super hard (which it’s not, it’s average..).
And the house is fine, no complaints there (except the kitty litter always smells bad because we have the two extra foster cats at the moment, annoying but they are cute).
So yeah. I don’t know. I just feel a kind of nothingness. Not in a depressing or sad way. I don’t know how to explain it. I’m plateu-ing, but not in a happy way. Maybe. Ergh. And this void of emotion freaks me out so I end up cramming things in to fill the silence. I’ve never had that issue before. I’ve always been exceedingly happy with silence and being alone. And I still love being alone, but I fill the silence with distraction; tv, books, etc.
Anyway, reading is good for it. I’ve been reading quite a lot lately. Halfway through The Road (Cormac McCarthy) which is excellent. As well as almost finished my bike book In The City of Bikes (Pete Jordan), and Harry Potter #5.
I don’t know what this post is about. But whatever.
Alive and Dirty 